Gosh, what's wrong with me. I've been feeling my lowest these few days and I've no appetite, this is hilarious. Well, for most, I just hope it's the Pms.

Okay, so this is it. How true, the one thing we learn from life- it's short. I don't know, you know all these years, I really did what I could, well, just so I thought. No Jer, it's no one's fault. No matter how many questions we may have, no matter the purpose of your existence here, God knows. And he'll guide you to the path you're supposed to take, no matter what it may be. No one has the right to stop you from walking the path you choose, because God gave us our free will, and the Spirit- driven conscience. There's no guilt, there's nothing to forgive, there's nothing to fear, there's nothing to mend. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. God doesn't put you through anything you can't pull through. What did you think a family is for? Really, coming back to see the world in your home when we're supposed to be the shelter from the world? It doesn't make any sense, does it? I'm really sorry for pretending I didn't know. I was so disillusioned. I grew pretty quick these few years. Way beyond my years. And I'm grateful I ever did. I'm grateful for you, mom and dad. I'm grateful for what I have now. I can't ask for more, I shouldn't, and I won't. I wouldn't trade you for another other elder brother. I know I haven't been there to support you or to lend you a listening ear when you needed someone the most. I'm sorry. And I love you, always have and always will.

"God will lead a way, when there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see, God will lead the way for me. He'll be my guide, hold me closely to his side. "