THE HEATHER

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Saturday, September 27, 2008

"The people you know best
are the ones most capable of surprising you"
-xoxo, GG

I should seriously get down into finding one.
Whatever am I to do, gosh, this is so hard.
Forget it, I'll just stick to being it.
I need to get life.
When the whole world does it, and you're out
looking in. It really isn't helping, is it?
Stepping up isn't much of a problem,
it's just getting out.
I don't want to do anything about it, it isn't really
gonna do justice to anything but, you see,
sometimes, you just don't live for yourself,
there's what you call others as well.
Urgh, this is exasperating!
Not what I set out to do, or even thought I'd have
Others, others, others.
Haven't I already said? It's already bad to always have to
live under one's scrunity
It's worse when it becomes a liability, an obligation.
Besides, there's nothing more I could ask for.
I guess.
I don't know what's gotten into me.
It's just a lot of thinking. Maybe all that comtemplating have
gotten me down. Not that it's anything worth being excited about,
but I do wish it were the end of the month already.
I'm so sure things would look up then.
Tomorrow, at grand-dad's, we're gonna have a barbeque.
To be honest, I'm not ready for this.
It's not a matter of being close to someone or even try to
catch up while someone's still alive.
Sometimes, don't you wish you lived simply, out in the barn
where you would actually be so close to Earth and experienced
and witnessed life and death so much so you wouldn't question,
or doubt. In the Winter, they die. Come spring, all will grow.
I truly hope his final journey would be a one at peace with God,
that the Lord will take him home and he would suffer no more,
and be a child again, no more pain, no more sorrow, just
joy and eternal bliss. Of course, won't our Grandma be happy
to receive him at St Peter's?
I guess I've been in my closet for too long, it's been so long
since I last got out and about, I can't even remember when.
There's too much recently and I just figured there's
no universal definition to 'oneself'.
So, go figure, doubt you ever will anyways.
Yeah, I should get out, sunshine, would do me some good.
Oh ya, it's mean but I've got to say, really.
I use, there's no vice versa.
Don't I just sound like a bitch, or what? ha!

Granted at 9:07 PM

The Water Underneath

Tomorrow is not a promise; but a chance.

Psalm 105:4-5 (NIV)
"Look To The Lord And His Strength;
Seek His Face Always.
Remember The Wonders He Has Done."

1 Samuel 16:7 (NIV)
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.
Man looks at the outward apperance, but the Lord looks
at the heart."

1 Corinthians 15:19 (NIV)
"If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are
to be pitied more than all men."

1 Corinthians 13:4-7,13
"Love is patient and kind;
it is not jealous or conceited or proud;
love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritatable;
love does not keep a record of wrongs
love is not happy with evil,
but is happy with the truth.
Love never gives up;
and its faith, hope and patience never fail."
"Meanwhile these three remain:
faith, hope and love;
and the greatest of these is love."